Chopsticks, Tuberculosis, and Sumo

Yesterday I promised Sumo, and today I shall deliver, but you’ve gotta hear about some other stuff first. So, this morning all new students had to report to a health center down in Beppu to take a battery of medical tests. In order to accommodate us all in an orderly fashion, they staggered our arrival times to the pick-up point based upon Student ID number. Last night I was under the impression that the graduate students would be headed down last, but upon checking the schedule just before bed at 1am or so, I discovered that I was completely wrong. It seems that whichever wiseguy came up with said schedule decided that us older graduate students should all be crammed onto the 8am bus to be the first load of the day. From the moment I read this on the paper I had just under 6hrs of sleep left if I was going to rise, shower, and catch that bus. Thanks, ass.

The following morning, this morning, came much much too quickly and I stumbled into the shower half-blind until the soothing hot water pried my eyes open. As promised, I busted out the hair goop for the first time. Time constraints as they were, I couldn’t get overly creative, but if you force me to wake up at 7am you’d better be prepared for my mean face.

Not happy to be here.
Not happy to be here.

I made the bus at 7:50, and promptly at 8 we departed for the health center. Our schedule had dictated that we would arrive at 8:30. For the record we arrived at 8:28, but by the time I made it off the bus from my seat in the back and entered the building it indeed was 8:30. For those of you who don’t know, transportation timing in Japan is so spot-on it’s silly. I’m pretty sure that if you ever manage to catch one of their trains running late they actually deed you Iwojima or some other island of consequence just as an apology.

The exam was a model of Japanese efficiency. In just under thirty minutes (I timed them), I undertook the following:

  • my paperwork was accepted and I was handed my medical chart
  • I urinated in a cup
  • 2 vials of my blood were drawn from my right arm
  • I received a chest x-ray
  • my blood-pressure was taken
  • I received a vision exam
  • my weight, height, and body fat were measured and recorded (& all by the same machine!)
  • my lymph nodes were checked, my lungs and heartbeat were listened to
  • my legs were checked for swelling (not sure why — Hoyt, any idea?)
  • I was given a tuberculin test injection in my left fore-arm

It was a regular assembly line, replete with helpful nurses to shuttle you from station to station and make sure you didn’t take a wrong turn. Having spent more than my fair share of time in American hospitals, I think I’m entitled to say that no way in HELL would that have been possible back home. They administered every one of those tests to ~350 students in just over 4 hours. That’s incredible. Even if it would be possible to get all that done at one place back home, I’d wager it’d be at least a day and a half! Furthermore, they are coming to campus Wednesday morning whereupon we will all receive the results of our checkup and they’ll evaluate our tuberculin reactions, or lack thereof. So, final math here folks: 350 students x 10 separate medical stations = 4.5 hours and 2 days return on results… I’m in awe. One might even argue that it was awesome…

And now for something completely different…

Since I’ve arrived I’ve made an effort to pay special attention to the people around me and their habits and cultural mannerisms. I do this so that I may better acclimate myself to my new home. With my friends as my models, I am trying very hard to successfully integrate myself into the nuances of Japanese culture. Knowing this, you can imagine my embarrassment when I realized yesterday while eating dinner that for 4 years now I’ve been using ohashi (chopsticks) incorrectly. I first mastered them (or so I thought) when I spent 6 weeks studying in Kanazawa, Japan as a first year college student. Now, as it turns out, I must learn all over again. The difference between the way I was using them and the correct way is subtle, but if something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right…

This is the way I *was* doing it, note the location of the lower stick and its position atop the last segment of the middle finger. Note also how the upper stick is manipulated by only the thumb and index finger. This, in short, is wrong.

Please don't do this.
Please don’t do this.

The correct way to hold it is below. By using both the index and middle fingers to hold the upper stick, the thumb is no longer required and indeed slides backward to become the fulcrum around which all motion of the upper stick pivots.

Excalibur!
Excalibur!

At the moment I have just begun learning this technique, and to go from moderately skilled to infant-like is frustrating in the extreme. My biggest problem right now is that I am having a very hard time securing the lower stick against the last segment of my ring finger. It simply doesn’t want to stay and instead slides upwards or downwards and out of alignment. Bollocks!

And now for something completely differenter

Sumo, lemme tell yah about da Sumo. I’m going to assume you got the basic gist about how two extremely big fellas face off in a ring, first to step out / fall is the loser, etc. If you’d like an in-depth explanation, hit up Wikipedia. So, this past weekend was the culmination of the 15 day autumn basho, or tournament. When I first came to Japan almost 5 years ago a little Mongolian fellow by the name of Asashoryu was just making his move to Yokozuna, the top rank.

"little" being a relative term...
“little” being a relative term…

I’ve been a fan ever since as he has completely dominated the sport, but upon my return to Japan I was made aware of another big boy who is definitely worth a mention. Meet Kotooshu.

Japanese Announcer: Kohtoh-shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Japanese Announcer: Kohtoh-shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

This animal not only hails from Bulgaria, making him the only non-Asian professional Sumo wrestler at the moment, he’s also freaking awesome. He turns 23 this fall and not only had he just attained the rank of Sekiwake upon entering the tournament, leaving him only 2 spots removed from Yokozuna, on the final day (the 25th) he and Asashoryu were tied for the lead at 12 wins and 2 losses apiece. (still with me here?)

Asashoryu’s match was the last of the tournament, and Kotooshu’s was the second last. Keep in mind I’m watching this all unfold on live TV. So Kotooshu whips his man, making his record 13-2, meaning if Asashoryu trips up Kotooshu will be tournament champion (and the first Caucasion to ever win a Sumo tournament). To the crowd’s delight, Asashoryu wins, which sets up a final showdown between the two lads to decide who the supreme champion will be. Unfortunately, after a tense 10 minute wait while they prepared for the match, Asashoryu demonstrated his magnificence and quickly manhandled the Bulgarian. But nevertheless, we must cheer for our Western comrades must we not? It was all very exciting…

Great photo.
Great photo.

And with that, I bid you good night. Tomorrow is class registration and I’m sure a whole host of other things I’m ignorant of at the moment. On top of that I still have yet to cook dinner. Take care, and I’ll see ya tomorrow.

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