Saturday rolled around and it was time to blow off some steam, so the usual suspects were rounded up and plans were drawn. It was going to be a typical sushi & karaoke outing, but with a twist – we were going to visit a brand-new SCBR that had opened a few kilometers west on the same road as the one we usually patronize… bit of foreshadowing here for you: we were not going to be disappointed.

Right, ok, next chapter… did that little tidbit leave your interest suitably piqued? Our first impressions of the new joint was that it was considerably larger, on the order of 3 or even 3 times larger, than the previous place. Still had the magic belt though, and that’s all that matters.

We were lucky in our arrival timing and were seated in a booth fairly quickly, a booth that we were not to leave anytime soon…(wheee, more foreshadowing!) Today’s YonKaiChiimu line-up featured Jane, Myself, and Jessica holding down one side of the table

…and Satoshi, Makoto, and Michelle anchoring the other.

Things were moving at their usual pace: victuals were espied, patiently waited for as they made their slow but reliable approach, and gleefully consumed – their discarded remnants stacked ever higher in honor of their demise… until, that is, they dimmed the lights and banged the gong!!!

Dear reader, I ask that you now pause and think back, back through the years of your life in consideration of this one question: has a gong ever been banged under non-extraordinary circumstances?

The answer to that query, quite obviously, is a resounding NO. I must confess I myself did not fully comprehend the almost divine importance enjoyed by that most… homo-harmonic of instruments. Having pondered this fact for almost 3 whole days (which is a hell of a long time to ponder anything with my attention span) I have arrived at the conclusion that were a gong to be banged in jest, without extraordinary occasion, that the universe would immediately collapse upon itself in horror.

So, naturally, when the banging of the gong commenced, the entire restaurant froze in anticipation of the magical experience that was about to be bestowed upon us. Out of nowhere, a man with a net appeared.

He may have even emerged from a flash of light and a cloud of smoke, I can’t be sure, my mind was still recovering from the gong-induced paralysis of thought.

With that magic net of his he bent over the massive fish tank at the front of the store and to the sounds of the patrons and staff cheering him on in delirious frenzy he soon extracted a very much alive fish by the name of “madai” – we know it as the Red Sea Bream (not the actual fish) in English.

He then held it above his head like a trophy and ran around the restaurant while the crowd went wild. I deeply regret not being able to get a picture of this, it was one of the defining Japanese cultural experiences of my life.

It only got better from there. The head chef got on the mic for the restaurant’s PA system and proceeded to tell the guests that the giant madai would be made into sushi to be charitably distributed to the winners of… <another deafening fusillade of gong strikes>

ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!

I’m laughing as I write this just thinking about it. My imagination has been called limitless in the past, but in no corner of its most absurd regions could I ever have come up with this crap on my own.

So, Rock Paper Scissors, or Guo Choki Paa in Japanese, was the game and everyone in attendance eagerly held up their fist in anticipation.

The chef counted one, two, SHOOT!

And I was out – SHIT – as were Michelle and Jane (Makoto had left early for a meeting). But Satoshi and Jessica were still in and it was for them who we now cheered.

One, two, SHOOT!

Jessica and Satoshi are still in! One more round to go!

One, two, SHOOT!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH they both won!

But what’s this? So many people lost in the final round that there’s extra sushi! We’re gonna have to do it AGAIN! <more gong, baby, more gong>

One, two, SHOOT!

Goddamnit! Jane and I out again in the first round… Michelle’s still in though.

One, two, SHOOT!

Michelle’s hanging on by a thread…!

One, two, SHOOT!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO that makes three baby!

The winners received their certificates, and shortly thereafter the sushi was delivered!

Did it taste great? You bet your ass. Did winning it through a 100-person Rock Paper Scissors tournament make it taste a million times better than it ever normally would have tasted? Again, you bet your ass.

I should also note that that was the freshest sushi any of us have ever had, as all in all it took no more than 3 minutes to go from tank to table!

Finally, after nearly two hours of exultant consumption, we called for the bill. This evening’s kaitenzushi trip was noteworthy for another reason, although one far less special than winning that RPS tournament… I ate my age in plates of sushi. Didn’t get sick though, just kidding there, but count ’em, count every last damn plate, I did it baby, and I’m *NEVER DOING IT AGAIN.*

Ugh.

So that was the dinner portion of the evening. To be honest though, after that adventure nothing that was to come afterwards could possibly equal the awesomeness of the Guo Choki Paa.

Ok, well maybe this!

There’s a brand-new electronics superstore next to this brand-new sushi place, and I was utterly fascinated by what appears to be a display for your own personal mechanical bull… complete with stirrups I might add. I stood transfixed as I watched the demo video emphasize the abdominal and lower back toning abilities of these contraptions. It was a crying shame that they didn’t have a saleswoman on hand to give a live demonstration… such a sight would be a leading candidate for highlight of my LIFE.

We did finally make it to karaoke though, once my friends managed to tear me away from the personal mechanical bull. Michelle led off with a stirring rendition of I forgot what…

Satoshi enjoyed his couch location to the utmost…

and I was a total goof like always.

Like I said, nothing to come afterwards could eclipse the Guo Choki Paa…