Several weeks from now I will become a patient at Oita University Hospital. In April of 2005, during a game of IM basketball at the end of my senior year at W&L, I tore the ACL in my right knee. You may or may not know that as a freshman in high school I tore the ACL in my left knee. For that injury I had a patellar tendon graft, went through roughly 9 months of hellish rehabilitation, and emerged on the other side well enough to continue playing competitive soccer for another five years.

Spending three hours hunched over a chairback getting my tattoo done was the most painful thing I’ve ever done *voluntarily*, but my ACL reconstruction and the following rehabilitation? I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy.

Having to go through all that AGAIN?

…I try not to think about it…

But I must, because 3 weeks from now on December 6th I’ll begin about a one month stay at the hospital. They do things a little differently here in Japan. My actual date of surgery is December 12th, yet I have to report a week early “for tests.” Ma Li gave ’em hell over the phone as to what exactly “tests” meant, but they stood firm and just insisted that I show up on December 6th for these mystery “tests.”

After the surgery I will remain in the hospital for another 3 or 4 weeks at my surgeon’s discretion, and essentially will not be discharged until I am able to quite literally walk out the door – or at least limp on crutches. Once discharged, I will begin daily rehabilitation torture sessions at the neighborhood hospital a few blocks away from my apartment.

Regarding the surgery itself, there are two main techniques: the patellar tendon graft & the hamstring tendon graft. Previously, I had the patellar tendon graft and since then have pretty much suffered every possible side-effect associated with said technique. With some relief my surgeon suggested the hamstring tendon graft due to it’s generally easier reconstruction and rehabilitation. All in all though, you may reasonably compare it to someone asking you “would rather I stab you in the leg, or the arm?”

Before I began this journal entry I initially intended to give you an in depth medical description, complete with diagrams, of the surgery. However, upon looking over the sites and thinking of the rapidly approaching wholesale slaughter of my right knee, I became extremely nauseated and nearly threw up right in my lap. So if you’re interested in learning further details of the procedure, you may read about them yourself, I haven’t the strength to relate them personally.

I needed a new phone about a month back, and the timing was perfect for investing in essentially a pocket PC. My phone has a flip-out keyboard, wireless and highspeed 3G internet, 2 megapixel camera etc. What that means for you is I will attempt to post a daily update from the hospital, as much to remind myself that there is a world out there outside my room enjoying Christmas and New Years as to give you something interesting to read.

Lastly, I must confess that I approach this surgery and the impending rehabilitation with no lack of misery and reluctance. I don’t feel sorry for myself though, my fate is my own. And I do realize that I will be better off once I emerge out the other side. But with all honesty, my usually ebullient spirit has been slowly battered into a sense of sad resignation as the day of reckoning approaches. Were it not for the tremendous emotional support Ma Li has given me, I’m not sure I would have the strength to submit myself to this surgery once more…

And that’s the catch really, once more. The first time you do or go through something, no matter how bad it may seem at the beginning, you can hope and tell yourself that there’s a chance it will be fine, everything will be great, pigs will fly, lah di dah. Not this time, not now.

I know what’s coming.

What must be done must be done.

Such is life.