Ma Li and arrived at Oita Univ. Hospital at 10:15 – just a tad late for our 10am check-in. I immediately began a battery of medical tests. The first stop was an EKG disguised as a medieval torture device. I had to lay down on a table while large clamps with suspicious wires running from them were attached to my ankles and wrists. Next, four large metal electrodes were suction-cupped to my chest in an array across the general location of my heart. I then braced myself for the electronic execution – but it never came. Instead the kind lady smiled and removed the life-sucking apparati and sent me off to my next stop.

I was hardly done showing my suction marks and recounting my horrifying tale to Ma Li before we reached stop 2 – a respiration test. I had heard about these machines but had never gotten a chance to use one. Among a whole host of other related things, they measure your lung capacity. An absolutely hilarious 60ish nurse/cheerleader gave me effusive encouragement while I huffed and puffed with my nostrils clamped shut and a rather large hose in my mouth. When all was said and done the readings came back and her eyes became as big as saucers. Misunderstanding her reaction, I explained how it likely would have been much better several years ago when I regularly played soccer and that now I’m sure it was awful… Well, it wasn’t. In fact, I set the record to date on that particular machine – a record previously held by a Russian – with a measured lung capacity of 7.3 liters. (the Russian had 7 flat) This value was meaningless to me at the time, and probably you as well – except maybe Walter – so I consulted Wikipedia. The average adult male has a 6 liter capacity, women slightly less. Higher lung capacities are found in taller people and athletes. Lastly, the highest lung capacity on record belongs to a 25yr old British rower whose lungs can vacuum up a beastly 10.68 liters! It’s been a pretty long time since I was in any sort of aerobic shape so what I do have is probably mostly height-based. Now I kinda wish I could have tested myself back when I was on the 4×400 relay in high

The last stop was a chest x-ray to make sure I won’t sneak any TB into the joint.

From there we were sent upstairs and shown what will be my home for the next month or so…